these balls are only for show...

l hoist a bottle of amber
joy aloft in a drunken tilt
to eye level, pouring
his 3rd a shot.
the 2 ft between my
fingers wrapped around
the neck, his leather chest,
familiar cocky ass
smile, whispering a tip,
shrinks in sexual buzz

he leans in, hovers his
perfect mouth close enough
over my hand to feign a kiss.
he likes the way i hold
the neck, he whispers,
strong and sure,
but quiet. his full
courage is still
$10.03 away.

he blows a slow
hot breath through
my grip,
fogs the thick glass,
stares sex and sweat
right though my skin.
he says, 'a woman like
you, has the kinda
balls a man could
learn to suck on.'

something wilder
and curious stirs, in
a clutch of fast wet heat.
and i wonder
what it would be like
to fuck him right
there under the
no smoking sign
in the dim shadows
between the speakers.

he says 'you've got a way,
that comes natural,
brewed long,
an exotic vintage
that needs to breathe
before you taste.'
and he's damn near
got me...whether
i know better or not,
is irrelevant.

deep breath,
raise my eyes,
stare through the tiny
40 proof sea, and say,
'you want that on your tab?'
but i pause around a smile,
keep my eyes on his
while he backs away.
we volley power in
heady silence.

he chuckles, i wink,
[because fuck me,
he's some kinda pretty]
he backs himself slow
into a low slung chair
and watches me. grins
around the lip of his glass,
smokey eyes have me
naked before my 
rag touches the pine.

5 bucks later he reaches out,
pushes his knuckle gently
into my pendant,
waiting on my flinch.
i lean into the pressure,
he says, 'jesus, where did you
come from? you're like a
fucking gypsy, with some
heavy deep secrets,
aren't you? can i have them?'

and i wobble the pour
he doesn't touch.
he notices,
and in a hush he moves
his finger to tuck a stray
curl behind my ear.
whispers something about
apology for whatever
nerve he hit,
about tomorrows & love.

i step back in a deliberate
careful glide, watch the
confusion working his jaw.
the question tighten
his smooth cheeks,
and finally the understanding
settle into his warm gaze;
before the last note
of that last word fell,
he had lost me.
'